Ta Shema is the Aramaic phrase for "come and learn," which was used in the Talmud to indicate when the rabbis wanted to dive deeper into a text. Come and learn with me!

Click Here for Rabbi Chaya Bender's Bio

מֵחֲמַ֛ס אָחִ֥יךָ יַעֲקֹ֖ב תְּכַסְּךָ֣ בוּשָׁ֑ה וְנִכְרַ֖תָּ לְעוֹלָֽם׃

For the violence to your brother Jacob,

Disgrace shall engulf you,

And you shall perish forever.

(Ovadiah 1-10)

The above verse is from the book of Ovadiah and uses the word "Hamas" in context to highlight the violent actions of the nation of Edom to destroy Israel. Hamas in Hebrew means violence. The kind of violence so terrible that God dares not mention it in full and rather encapsulates it into one word.
 

Hamas in Hebrew means violence. The kind of violence so terrible that God dares not mention it in full and rather encapsulates it into one word.

Hamas is a terrorist organization with one goal–to see the Jewish people eradicated. They are transparent about their mission and have written and published their mission for all to see. What is happening now in Israel is atrocious and the work of people bent on doing evil, to the people of Israel as well as the people of Gaza. 

Like many of you, I have been endlessly scrolling through my phone and the news to see what is happening. But this is even more personal. I have seen Emily’s cousin sending four of her children off to fight. I have read about my Israeli friend in America praying for her loved ones in Israel to be returned home after being taken hostage by Hamas into the tunnels in Gaza. I have read about my friend who, after hearing bombs and sirens, dropped her baby on the ground in order to run to lock the door of the shelter so that her two children might not be among the statistics of kidnapped or murdered children.

This is personal. This is our family.

Our people have seen the most Jewish lives brutally murdered since the Holocaust ended. At the time of writing this, and I hope something changes by the time you read it, there is no clear end in sight.

We might feel helpless, but there are some things we can do:

1. Stay Informed: Follow the news and take it all with a grain of salt with the understanding that truly unbiased reporting is hard to find. If you haven’t already, try following The Times of Israel.
2. Show up for Israel: Within your capacity show up for Shabbat, vigils, events, online briefings, Israel Dance Club, whatever you can to show that we will not hide or back down in the face of terror. 
3. Spread Awareness: I realize that online campaigns sometimes seem silly, but we need to show the real face of Israel to the world. Thank God, many countries around the world are lighting up Blue and White for Israel. At the same time, yesterday that was a large orchestrated show of support of anti-Israel sentiment, especially on college campuses. People are not taking the time to see the ‘’incredibly delicate nuances of the situation, to read the situation kindly, or are celebrating the atrocities happening to innocent Israeli citizens, to read it more bluntly. Post pictures. Share stories from Israel of the bereaved or those anxiously waiting for news of their kidnapped loved one. Use these real human stories to help change even one heart.
4. Donate: The Rabbinical Assembly posted this JFN's List of Trusted Agencies and Nonprofits. On it are many vetted organizations who will send funds to where they need to be in Israel.
5. Volunteer: Israelis are asking for different kinds of support, even from afar. Yesterday I came upon this form to Volunteer to offer mental health support to Israelis in need. If that applies to your skill set, you can register there.
6. Pray: Prayer for the Simchat Torah War, Prayer for Israel in this Time of War.
7. Take Care of Yourself: Drink water. Eat food that fuels your body. Rest. We can be the best support from afar if we take care of our bodies first.
8. Reach Out: My office is always open. I love you and we will go through this together.

May we see the day when war and bloodshed cease and humanity will never again know war. I pray that the war in Israel ends as swiftly and peacefully as possible, that the hostages are released, that soldiers can return to their homes, and that Hamas is eradicated so that both Israelis and the citizens of Gaza do not have to live under a shadow of terror.

I pray for Shalom,

Rabbi Bender

125 Years of Bnai Israel: Past, Present, and Future

It's beginning to look a lot like the High Holidays are here! All Holiday information has been sent out, including seat registration, and RSVPs for all Holiday related events. Please look over everything thoroughly, as you are not going to want to miss out on the myriad of ways to celebrate the holidays together, both in and out of the synagogue building.

Hebrew School is about to kick off on September 10th and if last Sunday's Tot event was any indication, both our learners and our parents are excited to begin the new year. For more information about High Holidays or Hebrew School visit the website or call the office.

On Kol Nidre this year, I will be reflecting on our 125 year history, our vibrant present, and thinking forward to the future. But I need your help! I would love for members to share their personal stories with me. I will be sharing some of your reflections as part of my sermon. You can submit stories anonymously if you feel more comfortable sharing that way. Please help me by sharing your memories, present points of connect, as well as your hopes for the future here: https://forms.gle/QS51My3qMxU6Xo479

As for me, my earliest memory of Bnai Israel is my first 15-minute call with the search committee and just having a gut feeling that "this is it." My present favorite point of connection is seeing the way my daughter feels so safe and at home in the synagogue and thinks of every person at Kiddush as her best friend. My hope is that everyone feels that safe and connected here, that everyone is a friend or a potential friend.

May this be a year where we all seek together. May we seek to honor the past and the many people that enabled us to be here, sometimes against all odds. May we seek out ways to continue to grow in the here and now. Finally, may we seek to never be closed off from something new—to be surprised by what might happen if we may only be open to the possibility. 

L'shana Tova U'metuka, A Sweet New Year filled with the unlimited potential of you,

Rabbi Chaya Bender

"Seek"
by Cathy Cohen

When young, I couldn’t reach you
through language.

I felt distant
from your prayer book names
steeped in punishment,
in law and judgment.

Instead, I sought you
in the quiet of the sanctuary,
in chanting,
in families shoulder to shoulder.

I sought you in vowels,
in silent pause between words,
in breath.

Eheyeh asher eheyeh
shimmers
with the possible.

Eheyeh asher eheyeh
surround
of openness, forgiveness.

Here
a sense of your essence.

To Remind You of What You Already Know

Has anyone ever found a note that you wrote to yourself but you have no earthly idea what you were trying to remember? It’s not an uncommon phenomenon to forget information that you would rather have at the front of your brain. 

Earlier in June, the Torah portion hints at this problem, and the rabbinic tradition suggests a remarkable reason for such frustrating lapses of memory. In our portion, Moses “told the people of Israel that they should keep the Passover.” Nothing surprising here, Moses often tells the Jewish people what they should or should not be doing.

But in the book of Leviticus, just one book ago and not very long ago in Biblical real time, Moses taught us all about Passover. So why does he have to repeat himself now?

Because he knows just how forgetful people can be. Recognizing that even the most intelligent, learned, and scholarly people forget much of what they learn, Moses knew that the Jews would have to be reminded of the appropriate mitzvot just before the time of their observance—and the people in the book of Number now are gearing up to celebrate the holiday of Passover in real time. 

Keen student of the human heart that he was, Moses knew that learning is ever renewed, or it is lost. Learning is not a possession, something to have. It is a process of growth and ingestion that is a permanent accompaniment to human life. 

Midrash Kohelet Rabbah understood that point, insisting that, “It is for our own good that we learn Torah and forget it; because if we studied Torah and never forgot it, the people would struggle with learning it for two or three years, resume ordinary work, and never pay further attention to it. But since we study Torah and forget it, we don’t abandon its study.”

In other words, forgetting is a point of connection. When we forget we have the chance to remember and forge newer connections. 

At the semi annual meeting we tried to be like Moses—to remind you of what you already know. That we are a growing and vibrant congregation. That we serve congregants ages 0-99 (with a few God willing turning 100 this year). We have so much going on, and sometimes too much going on, that you might not even know it’s happening or in the busyness of your own life you forgot. 

We reminded the congregation of who we are and what we stand for. Our hope is to spark new points of interest, connection, or reconnection for you. 

The Mishnah teaches us that Jews in study together experience the presence of God. So let us continue to learn together as well as commit to a new holy point of connection between now and our next meeting.

B'Shalom, 

Rabbi Chaya Bender 

75 years. It’s hard to believe that our timeless Holy Land can be so young in the eyes of modernity. This past weekend, we celebrated the miracle, the blessing, the homeland, and the ongoing project of Israel. Thank you to TOI, UJA, Wilmington Jewish Film Festival, and PJ Library for dreaming and planning along together as a team. Approximately 200 people from across Jewish Wilmington united together to celebrate our pride in Israel. 

After the Yom Haatzmaut event, the WJFF kicked off with a haunting film about righteous (and unrighteous) gentiles who hid a man during the Holocaust. The festival is ongoing but Yasher Koach to Debbie Smith, her executive committee, and the many volunteers who make the festival a success. 

It is impossible to not link one historical event to the other; that is the Holocaust to the founding of the modern State of Israel. By experiencing both poles on Sunday, it solidified for me the importance of community and celebrating when we can. 

We are linked to all that came before us and all who will come after. We remember and mourn for those who have passed, as well as celebrate for those who can no longer. We bridge our fears with our joys so that our joys will always carry us through when times are hard. 

Below is a prayer that captures the complicated ways we remember and celebrate—that our very existence is a miracle and something won by our own hands. 

May we continue to come together as a greater Jewish Wilmington community and family for these milestone celebrations and always. 

May there soon be peace in our Holy Land and worldwide. 

Prayer for Israel between Demise and Rebirth

by Rabbi Daniel Raphael Silverstein

May we remember that our faces are mirrors of each other, our fears are mirrors of each other’s, our hopes are mirrors of each other’s, and all of our children will inherit everything we are.

May we remember our shared past, our shared ancestors, our shared heritage, our shared grief at the destruction of our home twice before, our shared journeys through millennia of exile, our shared pride in who we are and all that we have achieved, wherever we found ourselves, and now here.

May we remember that our being here is something no human can explain or understand.

May we remember that we are responsible to those who came before us and those who come after us.

May we remember that it is very, very easy to destroy, but infinitely harder to build.

May we remember that there is no future for any of us without all of us.

B'Shalom

Rabbi Chaya Bender

It's Spring Y'all

A couple of weeks ago it was a chilly, overcast, rainy, 70 degree day. I only had eyes for the weather being a high of 70. I declared it spring!

Emily, Shlomi, and I were getting ready to go to Pender Pines Garden Center, so I got dressed in hopeful springtime clothes. Emily and Shlomi were in more reasonable and weather appropriate long pants and jackets, but I was in shorts and a t-shirt. When Emily asked me what was wrong with me, my only answer was, “I declare that it’s spring!”

At Pender Pines I purchased spring-y front porch decorations–a sign with sunflowers and a sea turtle wind mobile. As the weather continues to waffle back and forth between lovely and too cold, I feel I am doing my part to help spring along.

This time of the year, the Jewish calendar tip-toes towards spring. Around Tu Bishvat in Israel, as well as in our climate, we start to see the first buds of spring, even if the ground still frosts from time to time. It is the strength we need to keep moving forward towards the new life that is just around the corner. 

Now, we are gearing up for Purim. This holiday is the spiritual equivalent of putting on shorts a little too early and surrounding yourself with decorations that are more aspirations. As we dress in costume, we do not hide ourselves, but rather we realize our full selves. As we dress up, we actually take off our invisible masks that we wear every day when we hold ourselves back. This is the final refuel of strength we need for the main event.

Passover.

But one thing at a time! We aren’t quite there yet.

Today we declare it spring. In one month, it will be spring. And both of these are important to the process.

When we declare it spring, we actively open ourselves to be able to receive spring when it comes. We engage in a relationship with all that spring has in store for us. Yes, spring comes with the “great pollening” but it is worth it for the freedom to be outside, on the beach, and making our friends with snow still in their backyards jealous.

Judaism is a relational religion. It can not exist in a vacuum, and does not feel the same in isolation. The Jewish calendar keeps moving forward, and we can’t control that. But we can control how we interact with it. Passover is exactly one month after Purim, which is one month after Tu Bishvat. They are the big, medium, and large steps laid in front of us to take towards freedom each year. Yes, you can mark the passing of time with these holidays by yourself, but I encourage all of you to take these steps together with your community.

Use Purim this year as your practice round for Passover. Use your costume to feel more free and partake in the many activities and fundraisers surrounding Purim to connect with yourself and others. 

Let’s declare it’s spring together! Because before you know it, ready or not, Passover will be here. I, for one, am already excited.

B’Shalom and Hag Purim Sameach (Happy Purim),

Rabbi Chaya Bender

Hanukkah, The Second Neilah

On Yom Kippur, we spend the day contemplating.

What was the past year for me?

What does the future hold?

Will I ever have the chance to live to my fullest potential?

The day culminates in the Neilah prayer. During Neilah, we imagine the gates closing as we ramp up our final prayers. The hope is that all of our prayers can break their way through before the gates close for the year.

But the gates never truly close, at least not until Hanukkah.

The gates remain open through Shemini Atzeret, when we pray for rain in its proper time in Israel. We ask for God to send rain:

"To be for a blessing and not a curse.

For life and not for death.

For abundance not for famine."

In other words, as the gates of prayer remain open through the end of the High Holiday season, we pray for quality of life and not only to live.

While the High Holidays have been over for a while now, the gates of prayer, the gates of repentance, remain open still, if only a crack. And as Leonard Cohen wrote, There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. In this case, the light of the fully lit Menorah on the 8th day of Hanukkah.

The Maccabees were too busy fighting for their religious freedom during the holiday of Sukkot, so when they won and rededicated the Temple, they celebrated a makeup festival. According to Hasidic views, the eight days of Hanukkah parallel the seven plus one day of Sukkot, and the eighth day of Hanukkah therefore parallels Shemini Atzeret. Hanukkah, therefore, was the holiday that allowed the Jews to press the giant reset button, to begin again, on their religious lives.

The eight days of Hanukkah allowed for the Maccabees to reinstate three important mitzvot through the eight day long celebration of this festival:

1) The celebration of Shabbat,

2) The Celebration of the new month of Tevet,

3) Brit Milah (if a baby were to be born on the first day of Hanukkah they would have a brit ceremony on the eighth.

But the eighth day of Hanukkah itself has special meaning–it is our second Neilah. 

According to hasidic thought, when God created light it was a pure, primal light that would have been hard on our simple human eyes.  This pure, primal light filled the world for only 36 hours in the fully created world before God hid it away–twelve hours from the creation of Adam until Shabbat, and the 24 hours of Shabbat. On Hanukkah, not including the Shamash (helper candle) we light 36 candles. These 36 candles represent those 36 hours, the most sanctified time of creation when God’s presence was felt most poignantly. On the eighth night, we light that 36th candle. During those few hours on the eighth night of Hanukkah as the candles are burning, the gates of prayer swing wide open. It is a private time when we are connected to the Divine. 

What I learn from this is that it is never really too late to find meaning and connection. It is never too late to try again. Open your heart to the possibilities of what could be if you try again. Be creative and persistent. If you open the door a crack, that is how the light, the pure, primal light, gets it.

Happy Early Hanukkah. I hope to see you at many of our Hanukkah celebrations over the next month. May it be a joyous festival of lights, as well as a time of quiet contemplation.

Shabbat Shalom, 

Rabbi Chaya Bender

Every Small Detail is Significant to the Story

(The following is Rabbi Bender's sermon from Rosh Hashanah Day 2)

When I was a second semester Junior in high school, I transferred schools. For anyone who has moved schools, let alone mid-year, you know this transition can be quite a lot. Not only was it a new school, but I had moved from Atlantic City High School, with 1500 kids in my class, to an orthodox day school, with 6 in my class. The first day of second semester, we are reminded to submit our applications to March of the Living the following week. One short piece of paper and a scholarship later, I was enrolled on what would be a trip of a lifetime.

For those of you who do not know what March of the Living is, it is a trip for students to visit the two opposite poles of recent Jewish history, the horror of the death camps in Poland, and the thriving state of Israel. On Yom HaShoah, Holocaust Remembrance day, people from around the world gather in Poland to silently march from Auschwitz to Birkenau. On Yom Ha’atzmaut, Israel Independence day, there is a loud and celebratory march through the old city of Jerusalem to the Kotel, the Western Wall.

You might think that this dance through the streets of our Holy City is the image that most sticks out in my mind. And while I will always cherish that first visit, and every subsequent visit to Israel, a smaller moment from the march from Auschwitz to Birkenau stands out.

When you are Marching, there are students and adults from around the world, and it is hard to not be caught up in the moment and want to learn everyone’s life story. While people on the march try their best not to talk, there is a lot of swag trading. I gave my “March of the Living, America”, hat to a young French woman named Corynne. She signed my hat in French, “In Friendship” to me with the date and her name. 

Then I met a nameless Polish ally. He was not Jewish, I remember that much, but I do not remember anything else about that interaction, because he did not sign what he gave me–which was an Israeli flag.

This man had known this March was happening, and bought who knows how many Israeli flags to give to these students as they made this silent march of remembrance. 

He simply handed me a flag, gave me the faintest smile, and kept walking ahead.

I wrapped myself in this flag and wore it the rest of the way to Birkenau.

To this day, it still has some brown dirt spots on it, and I never dared to dry clean it to get back into mint condition.

That man, that flag, those dirt marks, and that place, are all important parts to making up the significance of that moment.

Every small detail matters. 

If I were to have received that flag from my trip leader, an orthodox man from Lakewood, it would of course be meaningful, but wouldn’t have been burned into my memory like the interaction with the Polish Ally. If I had dry-cleaned the flag in order to hang it up pristinely, it would look like any other flag. It would not be stained with the mud that so many of our family members walked on. The connection to those countless innocent souls would simply be washed away. And of course the memory of where I received this flag. Walking those steps. In that dirt. Knowing I would have a hot meal, a shower, and a hotel bed waiting for me when it was all over. Walking with a flag through any street is always a symbol of my pride, but it will never replace walking to Auschwitz. 

Every small detail matters, and without even one there is no more story.

Washing over any of those details turns the experience more generic, more universal. The particulars, the complexity, the interwoven story that needs to be unpacked layer by layer–that is where the significance lies. And sharing these complex stories, and unpacking them layer by layer with others, that is how we truly tell our stories in order to fully see and effect lasting change.

Today we read of an incident in which every detail mattered, and if one small detail would have been missing, the story would not be the same.

Abraham is called to by God to sacrifice his son as a burnt offering. The next day he loads up his donkey, takes along two servants and his son to begin the journey. Three days of journeying later, he sees the spot where he must sacrifice his son and leaves the donkeys with his servants. He tells them that they are going to go pray together. Abraham and Isaac continue onward, Abraham holding a knife and flint in his hand. Isaac gathers the wood and asks where the sheep is. Abraham tells him the sheep will come from God. They build the altar together, and Abraham ties his son to the altar to sacrifice him. It is at this point that an angel of God has to tell Abraham twice to stop the sacrifice. The angel calls out “Abraham, Abraham.” Abraham responded Hinei, Here I am. God sent a ram to be sacrificed instead. Abraham names the place “God sees” since God saw all that happened. And Abraham gets blessed to be as numerous as the sands of the shore and the stars of heaven.

Every detail of the story mattered. The story we read in the Torah today is terse. With the terseness you get the sense that if one small detail would have been out of place, the story would have fallen apart. 

There is an initial call by God and then three days of traveling. There is not one word spoken in the written text, which leads us to perhaps imagine that no words were spoken in all that time. No questions as to where they are going and why there is no animal being brought with them.

If the two servants had insisted on going along with them, if an animal happened to walk out of the bushes any time before the angel of God showed Abraham the ram in the thicket.

If only anything, then this story would not have happened. Then Abraham wouldn’t get his blessing. Then we would not be sitting here today.

All of it–the silence, the ram, the servants, the bushes, the call–equally significant to the story.

Washing over any of those details turns the experience more generic, more universal. To a story of the beginning of our peoplehood to that of a man sacrificing a sheep with his son and servants. The particulars, the complexity, the interwoven story that needs to be unpacked layer by layer, just as we unpack this story year after year on this holiday–that is where the significance lies. And sharing this complex story, and unpacking it layer by layer, that is how we truly tell our origin story in order to fully see what was and effect lasting change today.

In the chillingly named book, People love dead Jews: Reports from a Haunted Present, by Dara Horn, we are again faced with the small details mattering for the significance of the moment to remain intact.

But first a word on the title for those who have not read the book, and I strongly urge everyone to do so.

From her interview with the Times of Israel article written by Renee Ghert-Zand: 

“It’s not dead Jews, as in people wanting to see Jews die,” Horn explained in a recent interview with The Times of Israel from her home in New Jersey.

Rather, she said, "it’s about the insidious ways in which non-Jewish societies — including contemporary America — pressure or gaslight Jews into modifying, glossing over, or erasing their own identity altogether.”

She gives many examples from docents being told to not wear kippot at the Anne Frank house to the media picking up less and less on recent attacks against the Jewish people on American soil.

In one essay, she talks about an exhibit on Auschwitz put together by the same company who made the famous Human Bodies exhibit that used cadavers to teach visitors about how human bodies move below the surface of the skin. 

This exhibit they put on was called Auschwitz: Not long ago, not far away. Horn describes the exhibit as doing everything an exhibit on the Holocaust should do. It shared background history, explanation about different stages of the war, videos of interviews with people who survived, as well as many artifacts gathered together from other Holocaust museums around the world. Despite doing everything that can be considered proper form for a Holocaust exhibit to have, Horn never wanted to see the exhibit again.

Her main critique is that the museum did not teach the greater population something to really take hold of in order to effect change in the world. The main message she took from the many hours she spent in the museum is that the Holocaust happened from lack of love.

To quote Horn, “The Holocaust drives home the importance of love is an idea, like the idea that Holocaust education prevents anti-semitism, that seems entirely unobjectionable. [BUT] It is entirely objectionable. The Holocaust didn’t happen because of a lack of love. It happened because entire societies abdicated responsibility for their own problems, and instead blamed them on the people who represented–who always represented, since they first introduced the idea of commandedness to the world–the thing they were most afraid of: responsibility.”

In contrast, this is how she speaks about her own experience at March of the Living when she was in High School, “It is the sort of trip the clever people can easily critique, but I was 15 and found it profoundly moving. Being in places with thousands of Jewish teens felt like a thundering announcement of the Holocaust’s failure to eradicate children like me.”

Our stories matter, and every detail in them matters, and to take any detail away reduces the story to something that is not ours.

Thousands of people from around the world have seen the exhibit Horn went to as well as many other, much more well done museums. Yad VaShem and the Holocaust Museum in Washington, are both giants in the world of educating both educators, as well as perpetrators of anti-semitism by inviting them to tour the halls of their museums–each are highly impactful programs. And we know that antisemitism is on the rise, nationally and internationally.

We as Jews are taught the story, the whole story. The personal and political, the camps and the war front, the millennia of anti-semitism leading up to and the attempts to recover from that exist until this day. We are taught the horror, the complexity, and at times, the simplicity, the simple acts of hatred and non-action, that led to and perpetuated the Holocaust.

Every detail matters. Every single one. Every single life. Every single story. And one museum trip, no matter how wonderfully curated, can’t give you the entire story.

Only life-long-learning can do that. Only the expectation that there is more left to learn than you have already been taught can lead you to a life where you can’t simply hate someone for one factor that offends you. You know that the story can never be that simple.

You know that the particulars, the complexity, the interwoven story that needs to be unpacked layer by layer–that is where the significance lies. And sharing these complex stories, and unpacking them layer by layer with others, that is how we truly tell our stories in order to fully see and effect lasting change.

Here we are today. On the last day of our Jewish New Year, reflecting on all of Jewish history that came before us that led us to this point.

In our more recent history: returning to our sanctuary, removing our masks and seeing each other's faces, moving from electronic prayer space to in person prayer space, removing any barriers or distance between us as we pray, handing out candies during the Shabbat morning Torah readings, gathering together for Passover seder, our dedication weekend, the cookout, Friday night membership dinner, and Rosh Hashanah dinner. We can acutely see that all of the details mattered. Every small detail that makes up this shul matters.

Every face. Every voice. Every Jew in the pew. Every attendee of every going on. Every simcha. Every loss. Every story. Every journey.

These are all the small details that we see aren’t so small. With a single detail missing, it wouldn’t be the same. It wouldn’t be home.

Every single one of us is a part of the significance, the holiness, the home-iness of Bnai Israel.

Your part in the greater story of Bnai Israel is a life-long commitment, and your Bnai Israel family will be with you along that journey of life.

The next time you think, God forbid anyone should think, that you aren’t wanted or needed here, that you won’t be missed, that you don’t need to attend or be a part of something going on here at Bnai Israel, remember that you are that significant element that keeps the story going. 

May this year be one where we can come together in our greatest numbers yet since even before the pandemic. May this year everyone in our family feel at home. May each of us feel that we are needed and wanted, and truly know that we are what is most essential to writing this story of Bnai Israel well into the future.

L’Shana Tova, May this year be one where we pay attention to and cherish every single small detail in our lives. As we already know, the impact will be significant.

B'Shalom, 

Rabbi Chaya Bender

Much of the Torah is focused around the search for home. Home, for many of us, either in remembering our childhoods or in the home we established as adults, brings to mind positive affiliations. Home is the beginning and end of our journey each day, and of course in the great journey of life. This upcoming week’s Torah portion begins to bring to a close the Book of Numbers, which is wholly concerned with the pursuit of a home in the Promised Land.

The people reach the land just over the Jordan River from the Promised Land. The tribes of Reuben and Gad, who herd cattle are ready to stop traveling and create a home on this side of the Jordan which is lush with green pastures. However, when they suggest staying put, Moses is upset.

The issue seems to be that this choice is only concerned with their own personal welfare. Moses asks them why they would choose a different path when they are so close to reaching a homeland for all the tribes. After hearing Moses’ concern, they agree to help establish a home for the entire community before returning to the pastures to tend their cattle. 

The message of the Torah is clear. Everyone in the community must have a safe place to be before any of us consider ourselves at home.

The story of displacement lies deep within our communal and individual Jewish histories. Narratives of fleeing oppression and wandering in search of home lie at the heart of our most sacred texts, inform our most cherished relationships, and have shaped our individual identities as Jews.

There has not been a time since my joining this sacred community, and a little bit before, that there has not been a big Covid shaped curve ball thrown at us. Despite that, we are up to bat with the bases loaded at the top of the ninth. But we really need all of us to hit it out of the park.

But as the Torah teaches us, everyone must feel safe for us to consider ourselves at home. For those of you who haven’t yet for whatever reason– come home. Come see the gorgeous sanctuary and feel the sense of calm wash over you when you enter that space. Come to services. Come join the baggers. Join the education committee, open doors committee, sunshine team, or chevra kaddisha burial society. Just stop by the office to say hi and let’s have a cup of coffee. 

Let the synagogue be the beginning and the end of your journey, but most importantly, let it be the 120 years in between. And remember, every one of you matters and is important, essential, along the journey.

B'Shalom, 

Rabbi Chaya Bender

This weekend we will celebrate the holiday of Shavuot. Shavuot, the "Feast of Weeks," is celebrated 7 weeks after Passover. The holiday of Shavuot is about two things, the giving of the Torah on Mount Sinai and the grain harvest. 

 The first part, the giving of the Torah, is what we most associate with the holiday. On this day in Biblical times, Moses went up the mountain to get the 10 Commandments. Revelation at Sinai was magnificent, but is reported in the Torah to have been over as soon as it started. The Rabbis claim that God was only able to utter the silent letter Aleph before the Jews became too overstimulated to hear any more.

 The second part, the grain harvest, was a major part of the biblical Shavuot experience but is more obscure in modern times. Three times a year, Jews were expected to walk to Jerusalem to offer portions of their harvests to the Temple as part of the Pilgrimage festivals–Sukkot, Passover, and Shavuot. These festivals helped mark formal season changes for farmers, as well as a time to bond as the Jewish people in one space at one time. 

 The Pilgrimage festivals were an interesting phenomenon. Men (yes men, and at the time only freed, able bodied men or teens) walked all the way to Jerusalem three times a year, regardless of where they lived in Israel. Some men who lived especially far away could take weeks to make the journey. They put in a lot of preparation and devotion to getting to the festivals. They didn't have any hotels, gas stations, fast food restaurants, or any modern mode of transportation. What they did have was the stamina and determination to make it and the desire to pass on that tradition to the next generation.

On the heels of Shavuot, this community will have our own festival–the Celebration! Installation! Dedication! Event. It will be an amazing opportunity to come together as one big family with gratitude for our past and excitement for our future. That will be big our Sinai event. Just like with any simcha (joyous occasion) this event will be memorable and time will fly by.

The real miracle of Revelation, however, is in the small steps along the journey of the pilgrimage. Every single detail of the Celebration! Installation! Dedication! Event has been planned out lovingly by our committee members:

Amy DeLoach, Committee Chair

Jon Alper

Reba Alper

Michelle Bannon

Rabbi Chaya Bender

Rena Goldwasser

Terry Jensen

Diane Gerberg

Pam Sender

Joelle Serot

Debbie Smith

Susan Turner

Barbara Waxman

Laurel Westreich

Leigh Winter

Walter Winter

Felice Zeldin

Since October 2021, this committee has met every few weeks, to plan every detail, no matter how small. While the committee members did not walk through deserts carrying their worldly possessions on their backs to attend the meetings, they had the same stamina and determination as our ancestors did. So much time, hard work, attention to detail, and love went into this event. While the event itself will be memorable for years to come, I know this event will also inspire the next generation of synagogue volunteers to step up and give back.

Shavuot Sameach, a very happy Shavuot Holiday. We look forward to celebrating with you shortly at the upcoming Celebration! Installation! Dedication! Event as well as many other future gatherings in our gorgeous and holy synagogue.

B'Shalom,

Rabbi Chaya Bender

We are about to enter our third week of the Omer, our spiritual accounting between the festivals of Passover and Shavuot.

Traditionally, on the third week of the Omer, we reflect on the attribute of Harmony, Truth, and Balance, translated into Hebrew as Tiferet.

This week, explore the Omer exercises on ExploringJudaism.org, the Conservative Movement's newest online resource, to find more Harmony, Truth, and Balance in your life.

Shabbat Shalom,

Rabbi Chaya Bender

Please join us this Friday night as we participate in the ADL’s National Refugee Shabbat. We will offer prayers for healing and peace for our siblings in Ukraine. For those moved to do so, Masorti Olami, the international movement of Conservative Judaism, is collecting emergency funds here to go directly to help the Ukrainians. God-willing, through prayer and united global action, this will come to a swift and peaceful end.

Shabbat Shalom,

Rabbi Chaya Bender

On Tuesday night, I delivered the invocation at the City Council meeting on the second floor of Thalian Hall. When I exited the Council Chambers, my eyes were drawn to a familiar name on the wall: Ruth and Bucky Stein Studio Theatre. I said a small prayer for him and his loved ones.

In our weekly Torah portion, Ki Tissa, we see an obscure verse:

“Make of [these ingredients] an oil for anointing the holy—a perfume that is perfumed in the manner of a perfumer—an oil for anointing the holy will it be.”
(Exodus 30:25)

The Hebrew root, Rekach, is repeated three times: Perfume, perfumed, and perfumer. A simple reading of this text is that the perfume had to be made according to an exact formula, but the verse is extremely clunky. The rabbis believe there is no such thing as a clunky verse, rather an invitation to take a deeper dive into the true meaning. 

By using the root three ways, the person who created, the process of creation, and the product created are all equally important. 

To be more precise, the text draws a clear connection from the end product back to the human being and the work they did to bring this product into existence. 

At Thalian Hall, I saw the product, one of the many lasting philanthropic works that Bucky will leave behind. However, his process and his personhood will be what most strongly live on in my memory.

Like the perfumer, Bucky crafted his life according to an exact formula and clear vision. While certainly he was not afraid to speak his mind, what I respected most about him was that no matter how fundamental a difference of opinion we might have had, it never impacted the tenderness he showed my family or me. As much as he was a businessman, he was also an artisan who curated his life so that he could live it to the fullest–a life full of travel, music, family, and love.  

May the memory of Bucky Stein eternally be for a blessing, and may God grant all of us a life as long, full, and well-lived.

Shabbat Shalom,

Rabbi Bender

This week we began the Hebrew month of Adar I. In most years, Adar appears just once. In a leap year, we get two Adars, Adar I and Adar II. Due to having a lunar/solar calendar, this leap month puts the calendar back on track to keep all of our holidays in line with the agrarian calendar. While doubling up any month would work in order to get the calendar back in sync, Adar is the month of the unbridled joy of Purim. Besides, having two Rosh Hashanahs of Tishrei or two Passovers of Nisan would be too exhausting, and having two Tisha B'Avs would be a giant bummer.

Purim itself is in Adar II. Adar I represents the endless joyful possibilities that are just within reach. This is why in Hebrew a leap year is called a "pregnant year,"  "Shanah Me'uberet."

This month, think about all of the joyful possibilities this year has in store just within reach. Make a plan to grasp them all so none of them should be out of reach. After all, you get an extra month to fit it all in!

THE FIRST ADAR
--By Rabbi Rachel Barenblat

The first Adar takes its name
from the letter who tells no tales.

Contains "little Purim"
which is just like big Purim

except we don't read the megillah
or send gift baskets

we just cultivate joy.
The first Adar's mitzvot are invisible.

The first Adar conceals its holiness
like a veiled Torah scroll.

It's like the cosmos compressed
into the silent first letter

of the first word
of the first commandment.

Like the queen whose name means hidden,
who keeps her Judaism close to the vest.

Like the Holy One, never mentioned
in our bawdy passion play

but gleaming all over the story
for we who have eyes to see.

Shabbat Shalom,

Rabbi Chaya Bender
 

Last Saturday, when we heard the news of the hostage situation in Texas, our hearts dropped, and we were overcome with sadness. Thank God it ended well, but once again, we are reminded of the needs of the synagogue to protect the congregation. Immediately, we were given an update from the Security Subcommittee of the House Committee about what we have in place here at the synagogue to prevent such an event from occurring here.  We are truly impressed with everything already established and the amazing work this committee has done and continues to do to allow us to gather in safety and sanctity.

We currently maintain our facility in lockdown–all guests must be allowed access to our building through our monitoring systems. We have state-of-the-art video surveillance systems that feature internal views of the outside and inside of the synagogue. In addition, we have access control panels to the doors that can be operated remotely. Of course, we always strive for best practices and attend frequent training to stay on top of the newest safety procedures.

On Tuesday, there was a Zoom call that we along with several committee members attended about synagogue safety and the Texas event.  Merrick Garland (US Attorney General), and Christopher Wray (Director of FBI), were among those participating in the call. They made it clear that the FBI does indeed consider this a terror incident against the Jewish community. We were comforted knowing at how high a level the US Government is taking the threats against the Jewish people. The main points we took away from the call are as follows:

1. We must all be the eyes and ears of law enforcement. Many of the perpetrators are lone actors, making it hard to connect the dots in tracking them.
2. We must build and maintain relationships with law enforcement agencies in New Hanover County. I was thankful to learn that the committee has done this.
3. We must all be trained in what to do in an emergency situation. We are in the process now of arranging for more training and will reach back out soon with information as to when this will take place.

In the interim, we want to remain warm and welcoming but stay vigilant. To that end, we are making the following temporary policy changes:

1. The Bnai Israel office is open from 10 am to 4 pm, Monday through Friday. Please contact Trish before visiting the synagogue, so we know to expect you. Trish should be informed of all meetings at the synagogue. No one that is not a congregant will have access to the shul without an appointment.
2. Vendors will not let anyone into the building unless they are part of the vendor's crew.
3. When visiting the building, do not open the door or hold the door for anyone you do not know. With this in mind, please be aware that an individual with malevolent intent may attempt to "piggyback" on your access to the synagogue. We will be relying on our members understanding their role and responsibility to preclude occurrences of this situation. In this situation, please back away from the Chestnut Street entrance and allow the unidentified individual(s) to use the access control features at this entrance to communicate their request for entry to the synagogue. 
4. Exterior doors should never be propped open.
5. Visitors are always welcome to worship with us for Shabbat services. We ask at this time that all visitors pre-register for Shabbat services during office hours. Please have visitors contact the office with your name, phone number, email, and date of the service they wish to attend.
6. We will once again include diagrams in the sanctuary of the exits and address of the synagogue for quick reference for calling 911, God forbid. 
7. We will reach out to the police department and ask for more drive-by checks on Friday night and Saturday mornings.

Please don't hesitate to reach out to us with questions or ideas, and know that we are diligently working on this.

Shabbat Shalom,

Amy B. DeLoach, President

president@bnaiisraelilm.com 
910-617-1264 

Rabbi Chaya Bender

rabbi@bnaiisraelilm.com

910-547-7595